I’m a work in progress.
It’s taking longer than I thought. Both the unfolding of me and our life transition.
Since our old home is on the market, loaded with charm and sacred, secret spaces, it needs daily care. I’m constantly, gardening, cleaning, giving it love. But, I’ve given all my love.
I don’t paint anymore. I haven’t worked in the studio for weeks, and weeks. I had no idea this transition would totally take out my practice. Everything is out of place. This isn’t good for an artist. We get irascible when we don’t work….no one wants the business end of a stalled artist. With the exception of Tuesday mornings with my dear teacher, painting does not happen. I’ve started daily ink drawings for Inktober. It’s something.
So, as I often do in times of uncertainty, I look for the lesson. Am I learning patience? Am I learning faith? Is it both….or more? Yes, I’ve considered it’s me. It always is, you know? Not always me, always us…you. We get in our own ways.
The clue I’m the problem surfaced when I stumbled across a wonderful artist living in San Miguel de Allende named Diane Varney. Diane is a painter and much more. Her story is an account of her free flowing, gypsy lifestyle, loaded with creative pursuits.. There was a time, perhaps even still, she created with what she had, where she was. What an extraordinary skill! She isn’t some coddled, studio artist who can’t work if someone is jabbering in the background. She’s living her creations – in her blood. What’s more – SHE isn’t whining…unlike me.
So, while pulling my milk-toast fanny up out of the depths, I go on walks, look for pretty things, strive to be like Diane and occasionally steal my own stuff to take to the new place. In a bold act of insubordination, I’ve stolen back my own Adirondack chairs. Creature comforts.
So, sorry for the whining. I’m a work in progress. I’m a spoiled, blessed, human work in progress;(click to Tweet) reminding myself this most certainly IS what I wanted and I wouldn’t change a thing, except for the timeline. See, God has a totally different timeline. He’s been around for eternity, you know, so what’s a couple months to Him?
In the meantime, I’ll keep focusing on the pretties and the possibilities and sharing both. There is so much good to see. Thanks for listening. Turning my attitude to gratitude.