I live a life of complete and utter excess.
If I were smarter, that would be all I would say…but no… because I’m excessive.
This doesn’t mean I live a lavish life-style, travel the world, over-eat and drink or spend until I’m over my head. I might have a few too many bites of pizza, now and then, but generally, I’m not gluttonous. My excess is found in the realm of energy.
I spend my energy like it’s a perishable item. I know it IS! But, it doesn’t rot at the rate I’m moving. I realized this when I was gardening this week. Gardening is great for the soul. I’d been working so hard in the studio, I forgot what a salve it can be to push one’s hands into the earth, clear the space, create a beautiful, living canvas. It’s healthy for the body and the mind. I gardened in the 90+ degree heat until I was done…
Then, I gardened some more. That’s when it struck me –
Everything I do, I do it in excess. I leave it all on the field. I bleed on it. Do you do that, too? Are you sick like me? There are some problems with the madness of the method, you know?
- Things that are enjoyable be chorable.
- People rarely, if ever, notice the extra work you’ve put into something.
- It’s like over-eating. At first you don’t notice, then your body rebels and you pay a physical, and sometimes emotional, price.
So, this post will be short. I don’t want to run the risk of over-working it. I’m writing up against a firm deadline (okay, call it procrastination), so there will be no massaging it. No worries, I wouldn’t be so cruel as to throw you a first draft, but it’s close.
I’m going to try the minimalist thing this week(end), because I’m excessive with some things, but not with commitment. I’ll take walks until I’m finished enjoying them. I’ll tidy things until they’re clear, but won’t lint roll them. The bar of satisfaction will not be associated with the pain of doing the thing. It’ll be interesting to observe the impact of this change.
I wonder if, secretly, I believe there’s an advantage to the sting that comes from over-doing. Sister Mary Ellen probably told me there was, long ago, before I could decide for myself. If there IS an advantage, I’ll be back to excess in no time, because old habits (hahaha – there’s a pun) die hard (and a cliché!).
Feel free to leave a message if you’re in my camp or give advice if you’ve over-worked your way out of it!
Let Masochism Lie!