20/20 is Hindsight

I remember, years ago, asking my mother the benefit of getting older. I was sure there must be a big payoff for Guide dog puprelinquishing one’s dewy youthfulness, a prize like a parade or Clearing House Sweepstakes. After all, the exchange for creaky knees and wrinkles does seem somewhat inequitable.

Nada.

That’s what she told me. I remember asking, “Isn’t there something? A richness that comes with aging?”  Her reply was a flat, brutal. “You just get older.”

I’ve thought about that conversation many, many times. I’ve also promised myself it wouldn’t be like that for me. Now, in Mom’s defense, perhaps she didn’t know what I was looking for, or maybe I caught her on a bad day. But, the fateful conversation stuck with me and I’ve spent my years determined to take the deep dive into any small grain of gain, any wisdom, any understanding, any peaceful, embryonic, Jacuzzi bath of reparation that might exist…ready to snatch it up in a second.

What you look for you usually find. Wouldn’t you agree? If you look for the bad in someone…you’ll see it. If you look for possibilities, they emerge. If you look for the happy, rewarding moments in life, they magically appear. I like to say,

“Stuff grows where intention flows.”  (click to Tweet)  I do believe it’s true.

So, as I careen into the “deep” years of my life, I do so with eyes wide open, darting, searching for the golden ring. I’m not all that creaky yet, but when the creaking comes,  I want to know what I traded up to.  So far, here’s what I’ve discovered:

That’s right. I can no longer read the print on the bottom of the lipstick tubes and shampoo bottles. Why do they even bother?  It’s my understanding that eventually lips and hair disappear anyway. Why do I have to wear magnifying glasses when I paint? I’ve been assured my eyes are fine…I’ve been adjusted to 20/20.

Yes, I’ve noticed lines forming on my skin. Things that hurt take longer to heal. I’ve noticed some changes “inside,” too.

For my age:

  • My heart is more steady.
  • My soul has learned to listen.
  • I am selectively inspired by those who have gone before me.
  • I don’t jump to conclusions, but have ratcheted it back to a modified “hop.”
  • I look for the “why” with people’s behaviour.
  • I am slower to condemn.
  • I mind my own business more.
  • I am more inclined to enjoy my own company.
  • I look deeper for the possibilities.
  • I enjoy “watching.”
  • I am more immersed in the practice of gratitude
  • My creativity has blossomed.
  • I seek to be of service.
  • I want to leave something behind rather than take more than I need.
  • I work to keep my soul “right.”

Like I said, as we age our eyesight fails, but our vision becomes more acute. That certainly is something to lean in to, something to, pardon the pun, look forward to. There is much terrain to be explored, through another set of eyes, through a more open heart, through a gentler character.

To be fully disclosing, and you know I am, I must set the record straight…I’m not all the way “there.” I still get irritated by some of the “going ons” in day to day living. I still find it easier to forgive character flaws than stupidity. Stupid should hurt. But, I am on the rails of my chosen track  and looking forward to the trip. I’m grateful for it. I’m learning to see differently. (click to Tweet).

What has time given to you? What have you gained as life moves along? Feel free to share here…we’re all friends.

 Choose to be farsighted,

Coaching

 

 

Michelle Andres is a writer, artist and coach who nudges, nay, shoves, her clients in the direction of their dreams, Writer, Artist, Coachhelping them to overcome non-productive behaviours and enjoy more success in their lives. 

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9 Replies to “20/20 is Hindsight”

  1. As a baby boomer, I refuse to get old . Grow older, yes, I have no choice, but get old,no. I am going kicking & screaming all the way. I won’t give in to the stereotypes or limitations that people perceive. My mind still thinks young. It’s only the caging around it that has changed.
    What age has given me though, is acceptance. More acceptance of me & others, limitations. & all. They are who they are, not who I would like them to be.
    And I have more confidence & self esteem because I’be lived through so much & surprisingly, have survived it all.
    I have learned boundaries. I now know what is acceptable and not and am not afraid to voice that or tell someone their behavior is not okay.
    These are all valuable lessons I have learned through age. I guess it’s achieving more wisdom & I don’t see any short cuts for that. You may understand some of this in theory when you’re young, but one can only integrate this information on a knowing & have lived it level, by living through decades of time.

    1. I agree with you, Sandie, that younger people may understand intellectually, but must live it to integrate the lessons and own them. It makes me wonder what else is out there that I “think” I know, but have yet to really own. Life is a mystery…I love it! Cheers to your youthful heart!

  2. I’m loving myself a lot more now that I’m gray and wrinkled. Breaking free from the ‘am I good enough/pretty enough’ trap has been positively liberating. I have a lot more confidence to put myself out there and try new things.

    Wisdom? Self-love? Early onset dementia? Whatever it is, I’m enjoying my life more than ever!

  3. I find that as I get older I have become a bit more slowed down, and for the better. I have a feeling of spaciousness and a feeling that there is no rush and that everything does not need to be done RIGHT NOW, but it will fall into place somehow. And if it doesn’t, maybe it should not have been given so much weight in my life. I am trying to live more simply and more close to the heart, not to the pocketbook.

    1. Thanks, so much, for sharing your thoughts, Claudia! It sounds like confidence and, perhaps even, faith, come with the experience of living. I love the idea of simplifying and, as you say, living closer to the heart, not the pocket book. Thank you for sharing your thoughts here!

  4. ahhh, this comes at the perfect time for me. I’m 60 and though I don’t usually feel 60 today I do. Have been having problems with my body, but my insides are alot like the list you have here. I love the way you write. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

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