Call of The Wild Hair

Wild hair of adjustmentMy parents got a wild hair. At the ripe, but not rotting, age of 75 years they decided to shake it up.  Last month during a casual phone call they told me there was a “For Sale” sign in their yard.  They have always lived within a 20-mile radius from me. I was stunned. It seemed the Deep South beckoned them. After several decades in California, my mother moved here at the tender age of 3, they would start a new chapter…a new adventure, consisting of alligators, gumbo and sticky sticky. “We love it there, “ they chirped.

Whatever.

I had long decided I would take care of them as they aged. They informed me there was no need.

Whatever.

So, as a fully-grown woman, I am now faced with the bittersweet loss. Really, as I write I am gazing through tears, but I’ll never admit it to y’all. No more Sunday bar-b-ques, no more birthday outings, no casual stop-bys. They leave Friday…the day this blog is published. Since they’ll be on the road, I’ll get a running start.

In my selfish moments I whine about my “orphan hat.” I mumble the phrase my old boss used to mumble, “I’m a better friend to you, than you are to me.” But it’s really not about me at all. Simultaneously, I beam with pride that two graying (sorry, Mom), bright, inquisitive oldsters can strike out in uncharted territory…well, Lewis and Clark WERE there first…where they will sip the sweet nectar of fresh, new adventures (click to Tweet).  I come from youthful stock!!!

I guess there’s a time in your life when you realize you only live once. Pipe down, you Buddhists! (click to Tweet). You still have an appetite for new things and are free of obligations to others. You have earned this time. The world is your oyster, or crawfish, as the case may be.

Most of us occasionally make small adjustments in our work, our homes and our lives.  If we aren’t quite living our dream, small adjustments can keep us appeased…at least for a while. Then there are the big adjustments, the ones that assure us we are fully engaged and following our joyful hearts. For me, a big adjustment occurred when I left full-time corporate work and decided to indulge that artistic tug, the pull to live a creative life. When I made the choice I KNEW I was aligned with my heart. Being a coach, I knew I had to do it. I had watched many of my clients take those brave steps. I want my parents to be aligned with their hearts.

Are you denying a big adjustment to avoid the fallout, the shakeup, the impact it might have on others? It’s scary and exciting to overhaul your life.

If you’re dissatisfied,but unsure, you might try some small adjustments. If you’re brave and willing and ready, take that bigger leap. Be aligned with your joyful heart. If you aren’t sure what that is, go seek it. There are people who can help you. So, what’s on your mind?  What’s not being said? Done? Let’s talk about it. Please, you are invited to leave a comment below.

Live with Mistakes but Not Regrets,

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Michelle Andres is a coach, writer and artist who teaches creatives business behaviours that boost their Art coaching, building your art business, belongingnessproductivity and happiness…all the while honoring their unique and artsy selves. Follow her on Facebook on Twitter

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12 Replies to “Call of The Wild Hair”

  1. It’s hard knowing that they are so far away, but exciting for them to have a new adventure. I know I’m ready for a big leap, just waiting for the right time…….isn’t that always the excuse for delaying that leap?

    1. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves about the delay. Are we scared, not ready or maybe it’s not the right move? That’s where we sometimes get stuck. Baby steps, I find, are good in such times.

  2. Things change, life goes on. What I didn’t like about my parents’ move to Florida, besides Florida itself, was the expectation and expense of spending all our vacations there.

    But they liked Florida. Loved it. And my kids got to see an exploding cow, which is what dead cows do in the godawful heat.

    It was a good move for them. It really was. And when they got terribly old, I mean like ancient, and Daddy went the way of the cow (sans explosion) Mama put on her adventure hat, relocated once again and moved in with me. She brought Daddy with her (in a box), had a drink with him every afternoon (despite his condition) and now they’re both under a moss covered rock in the oak grove on our property. Near the golden retriever except he’s buried with a couple of tennis balls which is the closest he ever came to a real relationship.

    Umm…I just reread your post and realized I got off on a tangent that in no way reflected the question you asked. Oh well, my mistake…but no regrets.

  3. What a wonderful story! I admire their bravery — I hope to be so brave in their position. The exploding cow bit is hilarious! Thanks for sharing such a great family experience!!

  4. Michelle,
    The tears are about so many things:
    I thought they needed me…
    Wait, I need them! I’m not ready to let go!
    I’ve turned into the parent and now they’re the kids!
    Loss of family nearby…

    then comes the other voice:
    Wow, so impressed that they could follow a dream.
    I’m so happy for them although I’m sad for me

    Sorry for your sadness, but look at the bright side…now you have a place to visit with a different ambiance and arms to welcome when you arrive.

    1. Thank you, Sue! There was a delay in me reading this. I apologize for the delay, but the timing was perfect…strange how so often it works out that way, eh? Thank you, again!

  5. Michelle, I got tears just reading your story. I am living w/a 93 yr. old mom whom I’ve not ever seen live any dreams she may have had. Her whole life seems to have been for her kids (great for us, sad for her). Luckily, she says she is fine w/the way her life has been lived. I, however, don’t seem to have any choices left, except to stay w/her and my son (who needs me since he has heart failure). Enough of my whining. I am excited for your parents! I think it is fabulous that they made such a big decision at their ripe old age (??) t.hee So many of us don’t see that we have any choices in our lifestyle. I guess my choice has just been to stay here and take care of my family instead of taking off and having a life of my own, separate from theirs. They are my loved ones, and after all, mine is a choice to be w/them. Boy, can you tell that I have no one to talk to? Sorry, but I am thrilled to hear about the choices your parents have made. Sad for you, but yes, you will have a fun, new place to visit for a vacation. Yahoo!! Thanks for your great stories Michelle.

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