Bleeding On It

(Disclaimer: This is not REALLY me.)

I’m a “recovering Catholic.”

Yet, I still believe I must bleed on it.

Although I’ve taught time management workshops for years, and I can spot a “Time Drain Myth” from miles away – still I clutch to this big lie like Wylie Coyote to a twig on a cliff.

“For it to be really good – I must bleed on it.”

Sweat is not enough. Tears pale in comparison. It must have the mark of bit of blood and it has to hurt…only then do I know, the job is good enough. It doesn’t even have to be PERFECT…at least not in the big sense…but it does have to be, well, red. (I think there’s a pun there!).

It becomes especially imperative when I’m not well versed in the topic. (I think I’m dripping with puns). For instance, I don’t REALLY let blood over this weekly blog post – and it’s not because you’re not important to me – YOU ARE!  I’ve written so many of these posts I’ve felt the tender softness of your forgiveness when I miss the mark. I know your mercy. 

 This is also a comforting thought in art making.

Ah, but a website, marketing collateral, those are things I don’t build or do every day. And, if it’s really hard to do, I want to make it perfect, because I don’t want to have to do it twice…

That hurts too much.

But, why should every day be a crucifixion? (Click to Tweet) Am I pathological? In my defense, I think these thoughts were put into my head BEFORE my logical filters were fully up and running, after all, I was a first-born, Catholic, typical over-achieving child. After early indoctrination, I’ve spent my adult life railing against perfection. As you know, I appreciate and admire the flaws. So, why this one last grain of pain for gain? I’m a sicko.

But, I’m okay with that.

This morning I planned to write my post, but my day was hi-jacked by my sweet husband. He has a cool, new product for wine lovers and restaurants. For weeks he’s been requesting some marketing materials and a more fully-developed website to highlight this stop overworkproduct. Today, he caught me before coffee, made all the right strategic moves and I HAD to clear the deck for him – work-wise speaking, of course.

This time, I did not start from scratch. I used previously written copy, I only edited one photograph, I enlisted great web-development forces and used existing designs for marketing materials. I discovered first aid, and no sickos were harmed in the making of this “happening! Guess what?

It worked!

It was fast and nearly painless – except for the crick in my neck.

The good news is, it didn’t really  hi-jack my day, because it took a fraction of the time.

So, why am I telling you this story? I KNOW I’m not the only one. I see those of you, lurking behind the bushes, knowing we share the same imperfections. You there – step forward into the light! Do it PUBLICALLY! Leave a comment on the blog – let’s share our struggles because confession is good for the soul.

Life Should NOT Be Crime Scene ~



Michelle Andres is a writer and artist. She writes this blog to share Writer, Artist, Coachtips for a well-lived life and a finely run art business…just for you!
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11 Replies to “Bleeding On It”

    1. Uh-oh, Tania! No guilt! You’ve worked for it, Sister…possibly even bled on it…you deserve to sip the sweet nectar of a tasty compliment and even, yes, success. Give yourself a little time out to reflect on that one. Life is meant to be enjoyed! ~m

    1. Susan, I feel your pain…well, maybe not. If I actually felt it would be easier not to strive for my own? Let’s both work on it! What hot messes we are! LOL!

  1. Michelle, I’m drinking this in deeply again.
    The small town I am living in has inspired me to do a series of paintings and I have a specific plan and so this huge wall of resistance just “suddenly” appears and now I am faced with facing the pain of my own honesty and faithfulness to this project. This work is going to cost cost me something, and it is going to be bloody.
    Thank you for your wisdom!

    1. David, you might want to leave a little room (or a lot of it) for your muse. My vision rarely is entirely achieved in my artwork. The muse has her own wisdom, and often work ends up better than my vision, because I give her a little space and a lot of trust. I hope you leave room for that process and remain open to the pleasantry of surprise. I look forward to hearing about your completed project and remember, you don’t have to bleed but a little bit. 🙂

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