Healthy FriendshipsTend your healthy Friendships – like flowers – and enjoy their blooms.

Earlier this week, I read someone’s thoughts about how we sometimes defend other people, claiming, “Deep down they’re a nice person.” We all have or have had these people in our lives, who we felt needed our protection. I’ve previously referred to them as “Weed Farmers.” While other people doubt such a person’s capacity for caring or sensitivity, we, as their faithful friend, family member or spouse, step in and exclaim, “Deep-down he/she is a good person.” This begs the question the writer asked:

How DEEP down?

How far down are you willing to excavate to find the “possible goodness” in another person? Of course, the answer is highly personal. It varies from person to person and situation to situation. I’m a firm believer in tending your relationships, like a garden, with loving care. I am also a firm believer that excavation, if it’s to be done at all, can be left to heavy equipment operators. If someone is over-fertilizing my garden – I’m just not that interested.

This is a liberating point of view for me. It came with maturity, as I gained more patience for the little things that make a big difference and completely lost patience with manipulative, stupid crap and vapid complaints, victim mentality, ulterior motives or unyielding points of views. It may sound like I’m a little bit cranky, but I prefer to label it:

“Discerning.”

I don’t need to figure out how “deep down” a person is nice. Often, if you take that road, you get bite marks on your back as you patiently wait for them to show their colours. Hey, they showed you their colours to start with! Trust your gut.

If I can’t see the nice on the surface, you’re probably not for me. I know people have been hurt, damaged, scarred – we all have been. Get over yourselves and just BE NICE people. Not nice? Move along…next!

Gardening Tools:

Care about your fellow man. Quit getting so hung up on your silly, political causes tending friendsand flag carrying activist bullshit that you forget how to respect a fellow human being. Put down taking up sides. (click to Tweet) Political correctness be damned. I suggest we all move forward with the best intentions and reserve a little room for our brother’s (or sister’s) “errors.” We’re all a little misled, and certainly no one is perfect – thank God. All that mess we get caught up in… life is just too short. If you are unfortunate enough to end up covered in mess, dig your own way out – don’t expect other’s to do it for you.

So, if you find yourself entangled with a Weed Farmer, do yourself a favour and till the soil to set them free. Weeds choke the life out of the beautiful plants. Instead, use your time to plant the seeds of gratitude, joy and love. Some people are daisies and some are noxious chemicals. You deserve to be surrounded with good blooms. (click to Tweet)

Nip it in the Bud,

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Michelle Andres is a writer and artist. She writes this blog to share Writer, Artist, Coachtips for a well-lived life and a finely run art business…just for you!

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